Enough

I got stuck in my pants the other day. Like full-blown, freaking out in the bathroom, praying to God there wasn’t a hidden camera,  stuck in my pants. It all started when I lifted… Continue reading

A Reptilian Revival

For his 9th birthday, TJ asked for a lizard . . . Or a rock tumbler.  I decided I’d rather him be that weird reptile kid than the weird rock collection kid, and… Continue reading

Tina Fey: Theologian . . . Who Knew?

My parent’s other neighbors have a cat named Joker. He’s an overweight tabby who whores himself through the neighborhood pretending to be homeless and in need of affection. My stepdad fell for Jokers ruse;… Continue reading

What My Son Did on Ash Wednesday that He Should Have Done on Fat Tuesday

With the school year halfway over, I declare defeat.  My parenting skills, having peaked in Kindergarten, are no match for the fourth grade. At Thanksgiving I was given less than 12 hours to… Continue reading

Optical Delusion

  My mother’s neighbor has a Landseer named Pismo; a black Newfoundland with white spots, or a white Newfoundland with black spots depending on who you ask.  Pismo was trained and papered for the AKC circuit, but… Continue reading

Viva Las Chaos

  This weekend my daughter and I went to Las Vegas for a gymnastics meet. It was fantastic to leave the Northwest and bask in the Sun. Still I knew it was time to get out… Continue reading

Because It’s Hard to Lose a Giant

When my daughter told me that someone at the gym got a Yurchenko and Jager Piked, I thought the coaches had taken the girls out for drinks.  Turns out they are actual skills. The exact nature of… Continue reading

Are you there God? It’s me, Olivia

My husband tried to kill me. Actually, he tried to clean my car.  A car that has seen more of my morning coffee in its carpet than ever made it into my mouth.  A… Continue reading

For Shawna

I first published this post 18 months ago when my friend Shawna was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.  On Friday, her battle ended.  It did not end the way we all had hoped,… Continue reading

Give. Freakin’. Thanks.

Target is selling Turkey hats.  Fully stuffed, looks like there’s a turkey on your head, brown and furry hats.  They cost $2.50.  I visit target often, and every time I pass the Turkey… Continue reading