Enough

I got stuck in my pants the other day. Like full-blown, freaking out in the bathroom, praying to God there wasn’t a hidden camera,  stuck in my pants. It all started when I lifted… Continue reading →

A Reptilian Revival

For his 9th birthday, TJ asked for a lizard . . . Or a rock tumbler.  I decided I’d rather him be that weird reptile kid than the weird rock collection kid, and… Continue reading →

Tina Fey: Theologian . . . Who Knew?

My parent’s other neighbors have a cat named Joker. He’s an overweight tabby who whores himself through the neighborhood pretending to be homeless and in need of affection. My stepdad fell for Jokers ruse;… Continue reading →

What My Son Did on Ash Wednesday that He Should Have Done on Fat Tuesday

With the school year halfway over, I declare defeat.  My parenting skills, having peaked in Kindergarten, are no match for the fourth grade. At Thanksgiving I was given less than 12 hours to… Continue reading →

Optical Delusion

  My mother’s neighbor has a Landseer named Pismo; a black Newfoundland with white spots, or a white Newfoundland with black spots depending on who you ask.  Pismo was trained and papered for the AKC circuit, but… Continue reading →

Viva Las Chaos

  This weekend my daughter and I went to Las Vegas for a gymnastics meet. It was fantastic to leave the Northwest and bask in the Sun. Still I knew it was time to get out… Continue reading →

Because It’s Hard to Lose a Giant

When my daughter told me that someone at the gym got a Yurchenko and Jager Piked, I thought the coaches had taken the girls out for drinks.  Turns out they are actual skills. The exact nature of… Continue reading →

Are you there God? It’s me, Olivia

My husband tried to kill me. Actually, he tried to clean my car.  A car that has seen more of my morning coffee in its carpet than ever made it into my mouth.  A… Continue reading →

For Shawna

I first published this post 18 months ago when my friend Shawna was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer.  On Friday, her battle ended.  It did not end the way we all had hoped,… Continue reading →

Give. Freakin’. Thanks.

Target is selling Turkey hats.  Fully stuffed, looks like there’s a turkey on your head, brown and furry hats.  They cost $2.50.  I visit target often, and every time I pass the Turkey… Continue reading →